: EUGENE :

hello. i am o depressed now. i got no mood to do anything. and i mean everything. its like late at nigght and i haven't pack my bag. idk what homeworks i have and i seriously just stone there from 5+ till now i decided to blog. ive been plurking and now i just listen to music and sit down. lie on the bed. sit up and stone. there is no aim or goal in my life~ the motivational workshop plus ktv session plus chiong homework post is still under construction. and bytheway, art is sian and boring. okay they are the same meaning. and let me tell you this. i look okay on the outside but i got other thoughts in my mind. i seem to be close to this person but the fact is we're not. cause idk why. and everytime i close my eyes, i used to think of nothing and sleep but recently dreams are becoming nightmares. i dreamed of being eaten, being taken advantage of, being left alone. not that i've never been left alone but that feeling is repeating itself in the brain. it seems that i have to get use to that feling. and idk why whenever i thought i could turn to you forever, it changed. which means you will not be there anymore. if life's like that and that we have to accept people going in and ou tof our lives, i tell you i rather not live.
school is as usual sitting with joeyi = fun? haha. idk mix of all actually.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 10:36 PM

HELLO. is not i lazy never update. cause i've been chiong-ing my homework so i'll blog once all homeworks are done. byebye people. i've got lots and lots and lots of things to say. this is such a happening week and im so dissapointed in YOU. what i thought just did not come true ): BYE. i will reply tags soon too.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 11:42 PM

BUSY WEEK !!!

okay. i'll blog everything tomorrow. I'm freaking tired cause i need to sleep and let me tell you guys something, BAROQUE music don't make me want to study. it makes me want to sleep! great isn't it. if you don't understand, i'll tell you tmr. its a workshop that i have attended. SO for tomorrow, the post will be on, the whole workshop + KTV which is tomorrow and what happened in this week where people change and i start to feel worried and scared and emo ):

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 12:01 AM

i'm deprive f sleep. for idk what reason, i coulldn't fell asleep the night before this and i listened to the radio and there is this feeling that something is missing from my heart. its like a lost piece of puzzle, troubling my heart. shit.i fucking hate this kind of feeling. oh no no no.i feel lost. and my body clock really got problem. i think i will die soon. and dalso i learnt new things from the competition. the more you practice, the more you will fail, cause your patner simpl duncare. arghhh. whatever. -.- . and i won't be so enthu to people who dao me anymore. dao for all i care.!

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 2:14 AM

my arms hurt. i dance halfway will suddenly dk what happen then cannot raise properly. shit. how am i going to dance m life away! like wth. really is got something wrong with the joint ler. i think im going to die soon. btw shuang ren wu is really like superb.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9PdwQr_OD0 .

here's the link. enjoy. is like very very nice. wonderful. jiayou

pan wei bo. and

ya. life's like that. sometimes i really cannot stand you.

i think we're really drifiting..don't you think so?

.. but ya life still goes on.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 2:34 AM

DO PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS?

if they really do, we'e been like eating them.

for animals, we have organisations to protect them. what bout plants? and if they have and couldn't show it to human that planting them and after that killing them hurts. i guess it just hurts badly. i know it hurts to not be able to share your feelings. ahh. whatever. i should blog bout happy things, shouldn't i.?

okay life has been okay. ups and downs filled the holiday until now. i need to get homeworks done and all. i hope i can complete them and not be so lazy. haha. had performance and sometimes i don't like it. those high profile life. and then being compared. if i were to become an animal would life be easieR?

i've also been thinking alot. i guess you are really not suitable for me. when i want to ask you out, and then when i want to think of someone to go along with us, i just can't find that someone cause our lifes are too different. just too separated. nothing of me has link to you. other than school mates, we're not from the same cca, you're not my junior in anyway. it should be long ago i let you go. and actually thank you for letting me see how important i am in your life. love is something that takes time to start and lots more to heal.. i think im just on the healing thing. i shall shift my focu away from the both of you to others that i should really be cncentrating on. love will be barnish from my life cause between love and friendship i chose friend and it will never change. its always friends. if you really know what i'm talking about that means you know me well.

i've been playing facebook games so add me there.lovess .<3

TAGGG MORE! thanks spam for all i care . i rather you spam then not tag

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 10:05 PM

about tags. i actually forgot where i last replied so thank you for taggging. i will reply from now on. haha. great right? and i will cheer up. find my passion in dancing and singing and also study. i will pretend that i've not live-d for the past few weeks and months. haha.and i seriously am looking for a new blogskin. the content willnot change just the layout and things..

just some recent tags..

JIALE. be happy laa. okay ^^ we will yi qi be happy. and live our lives better. talk to me if you need to.

CYANNNN . thanks laa. i totally took like almost the whole night to like find it.. yea..

EUGENIA. haha. thanks. typing your name is like typing mine ^^ haha

BENJI. ya okay. like i said, i spent lotsa time finding okay.

GRETCHEN. i will tell you why i ask the question at the later part.

CHENYIN. thanks. i'm cheering up. on my way. thanks for talking to me ^^

NICC. hi

CHLOE. wooo sister we're going to meet tmr again!!

and thanks for tagging..

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 9:54 PM

this is not the life i want. it may seems beautiful from the ouutside but it is really not the one that is suitable for me. i feel like running away from home. to a place where i really belong.asshole.ive been making wrong descions everywhere. from small scale thing like game to large scale thing like life. i've been acting stupidly to make sure i look happy and the most imprtant thingis that , i've unknowingly start to not trust my family . sometimes people in the family treat me okay but sometimes they're not. perhaps because there's 3 of us, they tend to compare. iadmit im not as good looking as both my sister and brother , butim indeed smarter. but who realy cares. poeple from the outside world just does not seem to know. in the past i will be happily singing in the car whenever i do sit on a car but now i just close my eyes and listen to music till we reach. in the past i will joke around with friends and try as hard as possible to go out everyday but now i choose to stay at home. and in the past i will try my best to study but now i couldn't care less. my blog is beoming emo.. and i really dun care. talk about relationship. love . its like the thing i would never even think about. who cares i get married anot. haha. friends. you never know who betrays you . and seriously i dun know who are true friends now. this urge to blog is so strong. i just hate to think when im being compared with my siblings. and seriously i do sometimes do that. thinking why do they even get the better life than me .like wtf. i seriously dk where i stand. i think im dying. i get serious headaches and i cant breathe sometimes. my heartaches and i cant fall asleep due to some leg thing that i cant explain.its not painful kind but its torturous . people please be prepared to attend my funeral cause i may just end my life anytime. i will move to a place in taiwan(those not developed) and maybe spend my time there if i managed to grow old enuff to migrate. im really really ... it feels like all the bad things are happening to me at once. really cant take all this. people are all moving and changing. i can't accept this fast change. i wish i could just be like a child and have fun . just play and cry and eat and sleep. i guess i need a consellor. haha.i found out that the haha is the first one i use in the whole long chunk . i used to use it often but i guess ive changed too. to a different myself.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 2:45 AM

我是谁？哈哈。im like super depressed now. theres just too much things for me to think of. theres studies problem and everyother thing in life just dun go on as smoothly. maybe i had changed. im so not myself. people say im emo. and some say im cheerful. perhaps i just do emo accidentally. things are really gettingout of control and i do not like the way it is . im too tired. really.. 没有一个属于我的地方。life begins to be meaningless. im doing things for the sake of doing it. im studying for some reasons. im similing for another and im like being controlled by everyone who i care. but do they care. haha. i guess im just not those good friend. indeed im those who are more suitable being alone and not bothering what people say? haha. this is not the life i want but who gets the life they want? i bet people out there are facing troubles but why must my be like theirs. faking a smile has from once in a blue moon to once a day and has like become oppsite. real mile only occurs once in a blue moon. like whatever. lets see who will bother reading this whole chunk of stupid words. if you do pease tag cause i guess people will just browse through!! whatever, whats life to me anyway..

DOES PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS? do ans me if you know . msn will be fine!

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 2:19 AM

it takes very very very long to know one. i thought the relation btw us would be better or had turn better from today but i guess you just dun know whats in my heart. you made me smile in the morning and cry at night. you just control my heart.maybe this is the time i get started to comein cntact with the reality. i must be immune to saddness.kj,vjhnvbdjhg f,f vkvoilkt t.. nothings flwing throught my mind properl so it became like that.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 9:46 PM

hello. im so unhappy with life. thats all. headache + heartache! i just dun feel myself

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 10:00 PM

RANTIN POST~ ignore.

helllo. i did a good deed. to them perhaps. . but who ever really cares. everytime this happens. i will support. at the back.so do carry on with life. you'll have yours and i'll have mine.i dun fucking care if you trust me or not. perhaps i gave up on life. whatever it is, a long as i have my meals and have a place to stay, i guess i do not need any other thing. not you,her or him. im mr smiley or became a zhai nan. soon i'll graduate and mmove on. we might not contact each other but i still thank you for teaching me a lesson - not to be a best friend of anyone if not this will be what i get and also not to care or do anything for a friend. i'll have to be clearer in m choice of friends and now i know the defination of friends. i guess we're still acquaintance. i still am doing it for a friend lke you.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 8:32 PM

ILOVEQUIZ. i'll do them when i have the time and mood. perhaps i will never have the mood again. i detest those times where i have to fake a smile.

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 11:45 PM

HELLO 50TH POST!!

its the 50th post and its a big day. mt olevel. was okay. i think the mt compo about thewriting a gan dong thing, i think i gan dong myself! however today got the first tution. im stoning alot. and whatever he teaches i all ban dong ban bu dong. i seriously dun understand whats with tution.anyway,people ard me are sad. i dun want them to be sad or anything. im nt positive or anything,i just look at things in a diffrent point of view. haha. i might be a boring person and indeed i am a boring person. i guess this is the ans for woring hard and trying to sustain the friendship.im just too naive,to think that life could be simple.i am a crazy person, that you reply for the sake of replying . i guess just tell me you're busy next time will be fine.

im so hungry. been running. haha. i'll just start to hate life as it goes on. perhaps..when i graguate from school, i will bring away memories. and everythng stays as memories.while running, i saw the beautiful sunset. i ran faster and faster. i did not stop. i went on and stories flashed past..

sounds so compo!maybe someday i will pass by you without noticing you and not be like now.to fake a smile.like teardrops n my guitar. kinda sing out the wa i feell. of course im not gay. just the lyrics ! muahaha.it really makes me cry ^^(i mean touchedd)

thats all . bye^^

EUGENE walked through the seasons at 8:31 PM