byebye blogg!!!
suddenly i feel that let me start tumblr . play play awhile then come back okay ? byeE!
oh my tumblur website is
pangminggmingg.tumblr.com
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
10:57 PM
Last published post is like 8th Apr. !! haha.
its been so long. Lots and lots of things happened in this month ?
i totally am a weakling. . Eugene have to stop being a kid. He has to grow up .
seriously .
a few things i've thought of through this month let me came to this concluion
也许虚伪是为了保护自己所拥有的，是不想失去自己爱的人。。
我已经忘记什么是爱，什么是痛，忘记什么事难过，什么是眼泪，也许读书和忙碌是心最好的麻醉药，让人斩时遗忘痛苦，让我遗忘爱过你。。
当所有的人都离我而去，我看到的不是最珍惜我的人，而是孤独的自己，因为我相信到现在，我还没有遇到用心对待我的那个人，也许这只是错觉，是幻想，但这应该就是孤独的感觉。。
this is sucha chinese post but ya. 华文让我更有感触地把心情表现出来。
铭喜活得很辛苦，他不喜欢勉强微笑，他不喜欢现实的复杂，他要的是家人的关怀，朋友的疼爱，爱人的拥抱，但是他什么都没有，除了读书，忙着做一些让他头痛的东西，他什么都没有所以笑容减少了，所以唱歌也少了，笑话不好笑，脾气坏了，眼泪多了，孤独增加了，心更痛了，不挽留任何人，头也时常隐隐作痛，心也偶尔会抽痛，不想让眼泪流下但在夜里还会不听使唤的狂流，真心不停的被利用，被伤害，何时能让我不再难过，何时会找到真爱，何时能找到知己，真心的朋友？
gosh. this is too much chinese and emo.
other than band and some happy stuff in school, i see it a lil' pointless to live. kinda sian. im not really emo just sick of life,studying and a few other things. . i wonder where is my heart heading to ? i wanna get away from this world. i dont look foward to new day and in fact, i hate waking up to the new day. i wanna sleep for very long. (i always say that) but i never did.
and i love myself alot. more than you can imagine. so im not gonna torture myself. feeling sad is more than enough and my 's' button got problem. ): i want a new laptop !! please.
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
1:51 AM
Omg!! It's 11 1o and I just boarded the bus that leave yishun! have to report at 6 plus tml! Wow! I might as well stay in school? The whole week, I've been reaching school early and leaving late. Think I'm gonna die soon:( my eyes are closing and I really wish that June holis can come now! Haha tired of everything. .
*tired of faking a smile*
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
11:11 PM
Hey people ! I'm blogging on the bus! Time is precious. Lol . Anyway yesterday was Monday and Monday just bores me. Reaching school at 7 am and leaving at 630 pm, it's like longer than normal working hours! Close 12 hours within thy compound is just not easy:( Stay strong Eugene and everyone else, it will be over.
These days I felt more and moredistant from everyone else . It seems that whenever I want to get close to that person or I want to protect the relationship we had, everything just turn bad. That person will leave or we will just part. All good things comes to an end but why does those that happen to me just leave so fast? 友情最美好的是能一起创造回忆，最伤痛的是别离后的心情。 Boone will understand what I'm saying haha
Anyway, had this first aid course for sl yesterday. Learnt basic first aid stuffs. Went home slacked. Chat with JunHan and tution!! Anyway I uploaded pictures for Malaysia trip already there are still
More but can go to my fb photos, under 'a break, for a smile' album and enjoyyyy!! Haha is all me and nothing else:D I'm on my way to a place where I can't see the love . On my way to seek happiness from a place without joy .
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
6:48 AM
It's the start of April which means 3 months of 2010 has begun . It's gonna be my 17 years of life and I definetly had grown ! :) haha been through lots and had seen lots . Sometimes I wonder what is this whole LIFE thing all about? I mean we are studying hard for our ambition but what's mine? Idk . Things are piling up together and lots have to be done>< 2 months of jc is shit. Good friends leaving , people dying , closed ones changing ! Oh man ! I'm lost and I really dk what to do in life. Lots of people come and go some I wished they would stay but they just leave us too fast. I'm staring out the window thinking to myself . . I just came back from Malaysia and during the trip I did had fun with my family . I felt that it was a well trip. We got stuck in traffic jams but we just waited. Everything was in a very slow pace and I just didn't think of anything but sleep eat play . The moment I reached custom, shucks . I have to hand in this homework, I have to attend meetings on this this this date and everything indeed start piling up when can I live a life of fun and on my own and not just studies future and for someone else's sake? Life is killing me.
(for the pictures in Malaysia and china just go to fb)
Anyway I just hate leavings and goodbyes. I detest ignores and arogance.
Btw, I'll be blogging more often since I can blog easily with I phoneeee:) hahha
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
8:29 PM
the last time i blogged was 31/1. thats about 2 months ago. Jc life has started and that it's a tough and difficult route.
however i made good friends. a few of them i would really want to treasure. Those times we spent together is just too beautiful to forget. Those pictures we took were just too memorable to delete. Those time spent crapping together is just too wonderful. I feel lost and sad when you left. I lost the purpose of life when i just couldn't see you again. Things are not going well for me. I look perfectly fine from the outside but inside its hurting. The person i thought who will love me,now has a boyfriend. OMG . the more i think about these stuffs the more sad i am . let me try to keep blogging. (:
so i see you son. Saturday perhaps .!!
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
12:49 AM
and i thought we could be something . .
and i thought it will be forever . .
and i thought things had changed for the better . .
it stayed the same .
couldnt you see the things i do ?
have you not noticed ?
sometimes i feel like disappearing .
i am sad . . because i always treated you as my good friend but you never once did .
am sad . . because you never once share your troubles
am sad . . because you never allowed me to help
but now ive decided not to think .
i live for myself.
and EUGENE PANG MING XI . . will always remember that he's a prince.
a HAPPY one .
a HANDSOME one .
a SMART one .
and all he needs to do is smile and be cool .
so he dosent have to care what others have to say
dosent have to worry bout anything or anyone
dosent have to be what others ask him to be
COOL-ness .
its just a post bout what crossed my mind the whole day . .
EUGENE walked through the seasons at
12:40 AM
EUGENEEEEE ♥s and Wants.Y
